first up..

..is you. because you deserve it. you were the start. the method to the madness. the catalyst that got the ball rolling (& not necessarily in a good way). this is my letter to you, to let you know my current feelings towards you. you taught me a lot. since I've been with you, i don't look at guys the same anymore cause to me they all remind me of you. nothing but lies and "baby, baby please" bullshit. you reminded me why i always kept myself away from guys like you. away from heartbreak. away from deceit. away from negativity. but your oh so practice-makes-perfect charm reeled me as it was intended to. and i began falling; feeling my established being slipping away into the secular world of all things unholy. yet you didn't care. it never crossed your mind that all the things you introduced me to would slowly brake my innocence and corrupted all that use to be. you brought me down when i didn't even think i could be brought down. so to put it simply, you were a dead weight to me & i don't think you even realized that. i mean, you held me back from my dreams, my thoughts, my self power. there even was a time when you made me feel like a battered wife; even though you never hit me, you took life away from me. you took away my strength and kept it for your own benefit. you took away my sanity and added it to your lack of. you were a leach that dried out everything it touched. it never occurred to you that you single handily ruined a good thing; a good family, a good friend, a good job, a good girlfriend. all those things were handed to you, yet you took them for granted.. (ha) and look at you now. smh. i bet you wish you would've stayed huh? i bet you wish you would've listened. i bet you wish you weren't you right now. so sad. i tried. and in the time that has elapsed, I've forgiven you. but i just had to let you know once and for all that i have not forgotten, and probably never will. so a word of advise.. never bite off more than you can chew. and if you just so happen to find another "good" girl, release her immediately because she is worth way much more than what you're willing to pay.

*sigh* ..this is my letter to you.

a dime a dozen

a few months ago i had a in-car conversation with a friend of mine and amongst the numerous topics covered that night, one of them was the idea of "true love" and how one can distinguish whether or not they've found it. i remember this conversation being quite enlightening in the fact that we concluded on the note that "true love" is about compatibility, and compatibility is about communication. every second during our day to day lives we are communicating in some way. whether it's in person, through text, or through hand gestures and body language; it's communication and to each their own. looking beyond the obvious barriers of physical distance or cultural differences, everyone has a customary vision on life and what needs not to be in it (hints where "attractions" play a part). when one is attracted to another there is a sense of common ground; common interest or common experiences. once the getting to know process (aka "talking") is heavily in the midst, information is reviled and that common ground is either maintained or disconnected. often times people use the phrases "we just clicked" or "we're just on two different levels" to describe their status with another person and depending on the outcome, one either stays united or chooses to continue on in hopes of finding someone to connect to through dating, which acts like a process of elimination or filter. sure one can date and still achieve nothing, but they've also come closer to achieving their customary vision. i personally believe that there is someone for everyone; someone who is going to love the way you communicate and the way you guys establish a common ground.. and that sort of connection only comes a dime a dozen.