boo, baby, boyfriend, husband..

smh. the dating scene is a trip.

so after you've finally built up the strength to leave that blood-sucking relationship of yours, you feel left with one of two questions: "did this really just happen?" and "what do i do now?" it's so easy to fall into what is called the hero syndrome; where you quickly try and replace what you just lost with the first 'nice' person that comes across your path. so what do you do? you wait it out. allowing yourself the proper time to regroup and rebuild your independence. because the last thing you dream about is taking part in another failed relationship. another reason to not get too involved and not to let yourself go to just anyone. but all the while the thought of creating a new 'soul tie' makes you cringe because to you that would mean giving up your new found freedom. the freedom you never had before, yet you always wondered about. the freedom that makes you feel like you're in control because you have no one else's feelings to think about but your own. you're now at a point where you're taking nothing too seriously, but are rather keeping things simple, playful, flirtatious, and maybe even a little lustful. however, the thought of another "boo" begins to irritate you because it's all starting to become so redundant. you realize you've heard the same line, just from a different guy on a different night. and after a while it all starts becoming almost predictable, like a game you've seemed to have mastered or a movie you've seen a million times; you know all the moves and all the things to say, because you've heard it all before. it is then when you realize that every one's a player! every one's playing in the same game of choosing. but how do you know who won? are there levels you must master to proceed on?

..to be continued